With A.X.E.’s 2017 GOTJ performance just over a week away, preparations for the devastation the Xul will be bringing are almost complete. The crew will be huge, but if you see the A.X.E. flag waving in the air, you’ll have a rare chance to say “WHUTTT UPPPP!!!” to the masked fucks that everyone (except most people) have come to love. Stalker chicks, get yourself a handful of Joe Black’s luscious Zeus beard by ripping it out when he belly flops into the crowd. Put the glorious hairy patch of heaven on voodoo dolls (or sex dolls) when you get home, comb it, glue it around your asshole and if you’re a real cunt you can moon cops on the way home from the festival with your new spidery asshole furbaby (Don’t forget to shout JoeBlackMatters!). The possibilities are endless!
For the rest of you well-adjusted misfits and Xuligans, you have an opportunity to sell your soul! During A.X.E.s performance a few special guests will be passing out contracts for your soul, fill it out and mail it back. In exchange we’ll send you something for FREE. Probably an item from the LongLiveEvil.com store or if you’re lucky you’ll get a chunk of human shit right to your door! Sound the alarm! We can only do this for so many people so get your hooker ass in the front row and horns in the air. Only those showing the most love in the crowd will get one of these contracts! Don’t be a coward and get your ass to the show! When you get home and back to your job and families you can brag about how you got hooked the fuck up in exchange for your already worthless corrupted soul. It’s like you are ripping us off! Except we get your soul and you get something worth less than $20 bucks! How fucking dope is that????
Don’t forget, Blunts and Brew 2 with Alla Xul Elu:
2pm on Wedensday with UPS! (NOTHING ELSE GOING ON except Psychopathic Radio!)
1:30am Thursday night (an hour and a half after Wizard of the Hood) We won’t be missing that!