Xuligans….Where yall at?! It’s your cuddly buddy Gunnar Handsome. First off, Thank you to the 20,000 Xuligans who showed up in full force to the Gathering of the Juggalos. Yall motherfuckers showed up, put it the fuck down and let the underground know Xuligans are in effect and we ain’t fuckin going anywhere! Despite some minor setbacks The Almighty Alla Xul Elu still managed to hit the stage and tear that motherfucker down and put on a show that many are saying was our best yet. The energy we felt from you mufuckers was unreal, and we love yall for that.
If you haven’t heard yet..Were gonna be nuts deep in Elmira NY later this month for the 607 Gathering. This shit is gonna be hype as a crackhead smoking nuclear isotopes…that goes down August 11-13th and has a lineup so dope bobby brown couldn’t hit it with Whitney’s crack pipe. Even later this month we will be putting it down at Gorefest with the homies from LSP at the Roxy theater August 18-20th. Don’t sleep on that shit or we will come in your bedroom and all over you. We will back in Colorado yet again in October for Halloweed Fest on the 27th along with LSP, SIcktanick, Body bag Syndicate and a whole other gang of artists to smoke mad bags of dope too. Show the fuck up, get stoned and make life altering mistakes with your homies all to an awesome soundtrack.
Question: Do you ever wake up and look in the mirror and think “fuck, I’m one ugly motherfucker?”. Do you ever find yourself needing a disguise to keep in your glove box? Or does your wife ever fantasize about having Hells Favorite boy band climb all over her? Shit homie, we got you covered! August 8th, 2017 Preorders for the brand fuckin new Forever Face 2.0 go live! That’s right, you too can rock a forever face while you eat Cheetos in the bathtub..just like Billy Obey! You can walk around your neighborhood collecting cats and scaring children just like Joe Black! These will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and our 100% Iron clad guarantee that you will instantly become the talk of your family and friends!
The Almighty is well on its way and will be here soon to slide deep into your subconscious and convince you to do all kinds of shit you would have never thought possible or desirable. This album will become an instant underground classic and most likely evidence at a triple murder crime scene. We can’t wait to unleash on the world.
Xuligans, we can’t say it enough. We do this shit for yall and we love you motherfuckers from the very depths of our blackened hearts. Thank you for all of the support and love. Until next time…remember it is possible to sit on your own dick, it just takes focus. Hate, peace, and Anal grease…